Janet L. Parnes

Everyday Etiquette for Children

Janet Parnes — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 21:46:17 +0000

Location: Dabblers hobbies + cafe, West Concord, MA

Date/Time: Sunday, March 4, 2012; 12:30 -2:30

For ages 8-11. Instills skills that alleviate social awkwardness. Topics:confident introductions, considerate dining, and being a good family member, friend and classmate. For pricing and registrations visit dabblersconcord.com or call Dabblers at 978-254-5798.

Interview Etiquette: the Polish that Makes You Shine!

Janet Parnes — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 21:10:47 +0000

Location: The Message Therapy Clinic, Wrentham, MA

Date: Wednesday, March 14

Topics include attire, body language, the proper introduction, thank-you note, easing nevousness, well-known/subtle pitfalls, etc. To register call the the Massage Therapy Clinic at 508-384-3436 or visit www.Mymassagetherapyclinic.com. Open to youth and adults.

The ABCs of Etiquette (ages 8-11) – Nichols House Museum

Janet Parnes — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 15:53:29 +0000

Location: The Hampshire House, Boston

Date: April 3 & 10, 2012

Description:

Workshop instills skills that alleviate awkwardness when interacting with others. Topics: introductions, polite dining (basic & advanced), making comfortable conversation, and being a good family member, friend, and classmate. Hosted by the Nichols House Museum; call the Museum at 617-227-6993 to enroll.

The ABCs of Etiquette (ages 8-11)-Wayland Recreation

Janet Parnes — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 15:51:33 +0000

Location: Wayland Recreation
Date: Saturday, March 1o, 2012; 2-4 PM

Description: Instills skills that alleviate social awkwardness, Topics: confident introductions, considerate dining, making comforatble conversation. Contact Wayland Recreation at http://www.activityreg.com/clientpage.wcs?clientid=WAYLAND&siteid=1 or call 508-358-3660.

Interview Etiquette: To Drink or Not to Drink

Janet Parnes — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 20:46:00 +0000

Interview Etiquette: To Drink or Not to Drink

I figured the cup of coffee would be safe at my feet, but the laws of physics proved me wrong. In the middle of the networking meeting my left foot sideswiped the paper cup. It toppled over, forming a brown puddle on the carpet. The carpet magically absorbed the mess, absolving me of lasting embarrassment. The experience, however, spawned a few thoughts about securing a safe spot for your cup of coffee during an interview. As I see it, these are your placement options:

1. On the floor where the cup is out of sight, and you can easily kick, jostle, or sideswipe it. You may have forgotten the cup is there, but neither you nor the interviewer will forget the interruption.

2 On the interviewer’s desk so you can reach for it as the she says, “Now that we’ve talked about your strengths let’s move on to your most bothersome weakness”. You misfire, and the cup falls sideways, turning her crisply written To Do List into a puddle of brown pulp.

3 On your lap; you shift positions: “Oops”! Everybody’s off topic!

Even if you succeed in keeping the cup upright, a sudden twitch as you sip and all eyes are on the brown streamlets running down your suit.

In short, if you want a clean, focused interview the cup of coffee may not be your “cup of tea”.

Tuscan Hospitality

Janet Parnes — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 13:42:00 +0000

It’s easy to mind your manners when you are a guest of Central Tuscany. Townspeople welcome you; they do not elbow you, stare you down, and cut you off in line -when there is a line. And, when you inadvertently lock the laundry-room key in the laundry room, your villa-mates laugh sympathetically and launder, discretely, by hand until the housekeeper arrives the next morning.

The landscape spawns gentility. Acres of olive groves and vineyards, and woods with miles of pathways for meandering surrounded our old stone farmhouse. My office seemed to be, not just in another country, but in another dimension of time and space.

Without any effort, I learned some lessons in Tuscany:
1. Olive trees are small with dainty white flowers.
2. In some churches etiquette dictates that women only (apparently) cover their shoulders
and knees.
3. Vineyard rows look like tight green braids running up/down the distant hills.
4. A Tuscan stone farmhouse can be reminiscent of the Ponderosa (for Bonanza fans):
rustically elegant, ultimately comfortable.
5. A major bank’s ATM card that brings euros in Germany can refuse to cooperate in Italy.
6. Six can play Bananagrams for hours, after pork and pasta, without getting bored.
7. Investing in a gelato shop appears to produce a better ROI than the US stock market.
8. The secret to enchantment lies in the scent of honeysuckle.

Taking a Stand for Respect

Janet Parnes — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 22:38:00 +0000

My observations of the local Memorial Day Parade were printed in the MetroWest Daily News, Sunday, June 6

Taking a Stand for Respect

The Memorial Day Parade in my town was not flashy; the crowd was not crushing; and the speeches not self-aggrandizing. The parade was like a pot of mixed-berry jam: Civil War soldiers in blue; women in hooped skirts; an American-Legion float skirted in red, white, and blue; Scout troops marching in loose formation, police marching in perfect formation; a WW II tank rumbling; flutists playing; and babies gurgling. The day’s events reeked of small-town charm and offered myriad opportunities for adults to model respect.

The parade made strategic stops to allow for prayers and brief speeches honoring past and current veterans. A WW II fighter pilot addressed the crowd, honoring a fallen comrade. After he spoke, this eighty-something stood, leaning lightly on the back of an empty folding chair, as the names of the veterans we lost over the past year were read and the National Anthem sounded.

Through the National Anthem people saluted, others held a hand over their heart, and some simply stood straight. The Boy Scouts, hats removed, stood; one distracted Scout twirled his hat; a troop leader gently pushed the boys arm down; a silent lesson in respect. A group of elementary-age girls sitting on a blanket chatted; they didn’t understand the significance of the moment, and the adults with them lost a valuable teaching opportunity. Along with some children, a few adults sat on the curb, setting a fine example of obliviousness or, perhaps, ignorance.

Memorial Day is an annual opportunity for the town to honor those who protect us and the families who take on the attendant sacrifices and losses. Opinions on the wars, health-care reform, or the choice of state flower don’t matter; this day is about displaying respect and self-respect and, in the process, utilizing important teachable moments.

www.etiquettefortoday.net; www.royalteaparties.net

Arguing with Artistry

Janet Parnes — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 20:15:00 +0000

With the heated controversy over the war, health care reform, casinos in Massachusetts, etc. I decided an article I wrote a while ago in relation to a confrontation between and professor and police officer would be in order. The article ran in the MetroWest Daily News. Below is an excerpt:

“The guideline below, stemming from time-honored rules of courtesy, help us to show our hand with diplomacy:

Listen: do not prepare a response while trying to listen. Giving full attention allows us to offer a thoughtful response.

Avoid “you-logizing”: most of us raise our emotional muskets when we hear “you”. So, keep the focus on youself.

It takes two to tangle: If the other personh;s temper rises, yours does not have to spiral with it. Take a breath and observe his behavior; don’t become entangled in it. If I am the one spiraling, my spouse is apt to say, ” Let’s start this conversation over again…”

He’s not me: everyone is a product of his own unique life experience. Expect and respect a different frame of reference.

Our forefatheres are stil spot on!The Victorian Code of Etiquette decrees that at successful conversation requires all parties to

1. Listen

2. Know what NOT to say

3. Speak one’s opinion clearly and concisely

To read the full article visit www.metrowestdailynews.com/opinion/x33861936/Parnes-Arguing-with-Artistry

Flight lost, friendship found

Janet Parnes — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:56:00 +0000

The following article, printed in suburban Boston’s MetroWest Daily News, shows how a friend of mine and her family turned their airline disaster into a stranger’s bounty. It is a story I have told countless times:

Ubiquitous clips of stranded airline passengers remind me of Lisa, a stranger’s’ flight emergency, and a friendship forged. Lisa, her husband, and their two elementary-school age children were on a flight destined for Mexico and stuck on the tarmac…

http://www.metrowestdailynews.com/opinion/x487487260/Parnes-Flight-lost-friendship-found

Recognizing Yes

Janet Parnes — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:08:00 +0000

Recently I learned a three-letter lesson in effective communication from a 15-year old. (This is noteworthy because I have been speaking decades longer than she.) I asked Michelle if she would be playing soccer in the spring and, to my astonishment, she replied, “Yes.” I had to take a minute. It wasn’t the fact that she would be playing soccer that stopped me; it was the “Yes”. I’m used to hearing yea, yup, ok, uh-uh or, my favorite, nyea (a cryptic yes/no combo). “Yes” sounded definitive and decisive; I wasn’t left wondering if her decision would take root and I didn’t have to ask her again later; I could move on!

That encounter elevated yes to a new height. From now on, when responding in the affirmative, my answer to a yes-or-no question will be “Yes”! Likewise, when people ask, “What is it that makes you such as clear communicator?” I will respond, “Yes!”