Our Victorian ancestors had practical, timeless rules for making courteous conversation. Here’s one of them: Speak your opinion intelligibly and concisely. This brings up the following incident:
I was at a meeting in which we preparing for an upcoming speaking contest. A guest had been invited to speak for 20 minutes to explain the pre-event procedure. To our surprise, he rambled, covering a multitude of unrelated topics, some several times over. The meeting facilitator didn’t know what to do; after all, this man was an invited guest! Forty minutes into the presentation, a group member capitalized on a moment in which the speaker stopped to breathe and asked, “So what should we do to prepare”? The question nudged him back to the topic. There the speaker stayed, finishing in a few minutes.
If someone is rambling, ask questions to keep them on point. If the workload becomes crushing for you, extricate yourself: reference a .something the person said, offer a handshake, wrap up and move on. You’ll both breathe easier.
For solutions to dilemmas relating to topics such as making conversation, dining and integrating into the team at work, sign up for my bi-weekly quick-tips email Manners in a Minute!
Janet Parnes is a social conversation and etiquette consultant. .Her clients learn now to tailor their everyday conduct so as to make others feel valued and understood, These practical skills build businesses and careers.
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