BANGOR, Maine — Etiquette expert Janet Parnes runs a modern etiquette teaching business called Etiquette for Today.
Parnes says the root of all etiquette is to make the people around you feel valued, understood and heard.
In the modern world, where eyes and attention seem to be constantly focused on cell phone screens, Parnes says cell phone courtesy is extremely important.
Parnes says we should be consistently asking ourselves while deciding if we need to be on our phones: what is more important, this call or text, or my companion?
"Sometimes it's the call!" says Parnes. "It may be your children or a doctor. So tell your companion in advance, I'm expecting an important call and when it comes in I need to take it. Then, when the call comes in, excuse yourself and find a private place to speak."
If you're struggling to establish cell phone rules in your home, Parnes suggests bringing your children into the conversation.
"I think making it a conversation as opposed to demands brings the children into the conversation and makes them a part of the decision. When you do that, it makes them more willing to follow the rules."
Parnes says you should always aim to take calls in a private location so you don't make the people around you unwilling eavesdroppers.
"The example that comes to mind is being in an elevator. One person is on their phone and the companions are forced to listen to the conversation with no way out. In order to make your companions feel valued, understood and heard, put the phone on silent and take the call when you're out of the elevator."
Another cell phone courtesy rule: the more sensitive or complicated a message is, the more is warrants a face to face conversation or phone call.
For more information on Janet Parnes' etiquette rules, you can visit her website, Etiquette for Today.